Why is sharing meals with others so important? This is a topic I have been thinking about over the past couple of weeks, and mulling over in my head. For many people, this may not be important to discuss- it might be something that you do already, with no problems. But this is something that I really struggled with for a few years, because having to eat in front of people that I respected was a source of fear and insecurity. This led me to avoid these situations or to overthink them or deal with them poorly, which was honestly really sad both for me and the people around me who I love- my friends and family, the people I care about the most. So I really want to talk about why it is important, and not something to overlook, both for families and for young people, and for adults, whether living alone or with others. Researching this was actually so fascinating, and has made me decide it is even more important than I first thought!

So what am I talking about when I say ‘eating with others’? Throughout our lives we all have to eat, obviously, and we do this in different ways and at different times depending on who we are. Most people live with someone else or a few other people, in the same house, and often they will share some meals and eat others by themselves. Which is perfectly normal and good. To clarify, I’m not saying that you need to eat every single thing with someone else. I’m talking about when you cook a meal and share it with your family or those you live with, or you share a meal with friends, a small group or church group, or when you take time to have dinner with your grandparents or parents or workmates or besties or the girls, or go out somewhere special to eat with someone you love–this is what I mean when I say sharing meals with others.

It’s a simple thing a lot of us do, but not many of us think about. It’s something I didn’t really think about until it became so hard. But it actually happens a lot in the Bible, and it is something that is very central to a lot of important events, and there are even a fair amount of instructions on how to do it properly. Let’s start with passover. It was the first feast or festival that God commanded Israel to have, and it is one that the Jewish people still celebrate today. And interestingly, it was based around a family meal- not trying to pull more out of the festival than there actually is in that regard, but just saying. Each family was to take a lamb and sacrifice it, eat the meat with unleavened bread, and paint the blood on their doorpost as a symbol of trust and their protection from God. Exodus 12:8 says “They shall eat the meat that night, roasted on the fire; with unleavened bread and bitter herbs they shall eat it.”

This festival has been passed down through the generations and to celebrate and remember how God rescued the Israelites from slavery in Egypt- Exodus 12:26-27 “When your children ask you ‘what does this ceremony mean to you?’ then tell them, ‘it is the passover sacrifice to the LORD… He passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt and spared our homes.” I think it’s really cool how God chose to use this festival– a celebration and family meal, to teach the children about His works in history. Passover also has some really amazing symbolism that links to Jesus’ death and resurrection- like the blood of the lamb protecting them and saving them from the angel of death, and lots more that I could get into another time, otherwise we will go off into a huge tangent and probably never get back to the actual topic at hand.

Sharing food was something that Jesus did often, and was very important in His ministry. The meals were times of physical nourishment, but also important fellowship and teaching moments. One really famous instance is the feeding of the 5,000- instead of sending the people away, Jesus chose to feed them, after teaching all day. “Taking the five loaves and two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves… They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.” Matthew 14:19-20. Jesus also broke a lot of the social stigma around the outcasts of society by sharing meals with those who were marginalised. Matthew 9:10 says “while Jesus was having dinner in Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples.” In Biblical times, eating with someone was a sign of respect and deep connection. Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners as well as important religious leaders, and a lot of really important teachings came from these moments.

There are lots of other examples- the wedding at Cana, dinner at Zacchaeus’ house, the breakfast on the beach after the resurrection, dinner at Simon the Pharisee’s house, the feeding of the 4,000 (a seperate occurrence to the 5,000). One more I want to look at in a bit more detail is the Last Supper– which interestingly, was actually the passover celebration that Jesus had with His disciples. Jesus chose to share a meal with His best friends as one of the last things before He died, and during it, He showed the bread and wine as a symbol of His body and blood, sacrificed and poured out for us. He then commanded the disciples to continue this tradition, and Christians still do this to this day.

So Jesus took the hundreds of years old tradition of sharing food to remember how God rescued the Israelites from physical slavery in Egypt, and turned it into a tradition of sharing food to remember how God rescued us from slavery to sin– and every time we share communion, we remember His sacrifice, how He came down from heaven, died to take our punishment, and rose again. That just blows my mind how it is so connected! And of course taking communion in church is different to sharing a meal with someone, but I do think it is tied in, and that it is something important in God’s eyes, because He used this as a symbolism that is so powerful.

I really think it is an important thing because of how often it appears in the New Testament after Jesus ascends to heaven, too. It happened often that the followers of Jesus would meet together, an apostle would preach, and they would share a meal. Acts 2:46 says “And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts.” So sharing meals was a joyful and regular practice in the life of the early Christians, and something that they combined with teaching, and likely discussions and sharing about each other’s lives.

Which is something that I have found to be such a blessing in my life, especially coming out of my struggles around it. There is something about sharing a meal and talking about the Bible that just fills up my spiritual tank in a way than nothing else can- whether that is lunch after church, weekly Bible study, or just a meal with brothers and sisters in Christ. I feel that once you have shared food with someone, they are in your life in a deeper way, and you are more connected with them, for life. Which might sound super cheesy but it is honestly my experience.

There is even warning in the Bible about not eating with those who continue in unrepentant sin (1 Corinthians 5:11)– likely to do with church discipline, and something to discuss seeing as Jesus ate with outcasts regularly– and also many verses in Proverbs about being discerning with who you eat with. This is another huge tangent but I really do think that sharing food with people is just so powerful, and therefore important and connecting for families, friends and church groups.

In 1 Corinthians there is also instruction on how to eat together thoughtfully: Chapter 11: 33-34 says “So then, my brothers and sisters, when you gather to eat, you shall all eat together. Anyone who is hungry should eat something at home.” In Romans 14:15-21, there is further instruction. For many these verses may seem irrelevant to daily life, but I honestly found them so convicting and exactly what I needed at one point. “If your brother or sister is distressed by what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what you know is good to be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by people. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better to not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to stumble.” We need to understand that much of this was in the context of eating food sacrificed to idols, but I really do think it is relevant to us today, in our present issues, and modern day idols. God’s word is living and active, after all. I know that it was to me, and it was a verse that really made me think about the way I was acting and if it was glorifying God.

Because for me, I turned times like this, of sharing meals, into stressful situation- stress that people would judge me for what I ate, that there would not be foods that I was comfortable with, that I would be so hungry but not be able to do anything about it because I was in someone else’s house and they did things differently to me, that there would not be specific healthy food, that I would be overwhelmed with choice.

I forgot that the food was of little importance, but the people I was with were of great importance, and the connections made, conversations shared, hearts poured out, where what it is all about. And yes, we many eat a little less healthily at gatherings. But I honestly think that in the health world, so much importance is placed on food and exercise, and not so much focus is placed on connections, love, friendship, conversations, lives touched and lessons learned and prayers answered. Because remember physical training is of some value, but Godliness has value in all things. (1 Timothy 4:8) and the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy. (Romans 14)

I have seen a distorted emphasis on different aspects of health so much, both in my own life and in the lives of others. And of course there are some health problems that are very difficult and are exceptions to this, but I would honestly say that eating a food that is slightly less healthy with peace and joy, with friends, family and laughter, is way better for you than eating perfect macro and perfect size meals every day, but every day alone.

And something that is really sad is that many people don’t have people in their lives to share time and food with. If this is you, I would really encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and find a church group or home group or quality friend group that you can spend time with, pour into and be poured into. Iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17) and Christian friends are such a blessing- I can’t even explain how much of a blessing they are. Also if you know people who spend a lot of time alone, maybe you could reach out to them, and spend time with them. I definitely know people like this that I do not prioritise, so maybe that can be a challenge to all of us.

A little on healthy habits– the habits that we learn as we grow and age, around food, exercise and just life in general, are almost alway picked up from those around us, whether it is friends, family or even social media, the habits of our friends really rub off on us, especially as teenagers and adults. There is, in my opinion, a huge lack of practical nutrition advice that can be trusted – especially with so much online, both good and bad, until you don’t know what is healthy and what is not, because it often contradicts other advice. Especially for girls, misinformation and unhealthy ideals are so prevalent. So often, drowning in information and lack of information, we look at our friends for how we should eat– which is good in a way, at least our friends are good, real people and not Instagram models. But the one meal that we share with friends might not be a good indication of their whole nutritional choices, and it can leave us feeling confused and less than great.

Which is why I think it is so important that we are good role models to each other. And by good role model I don’t mean eating only clean/protein/lettuce/whatever. I mean non restrictive, enjoying time with friends, eating the foods you enjoy, not going crazy. When I’m at events and I hear friends say “wow, I’m so hungry, I haven’t eaten all day” before we go out for dinner, I just die a little inside for the younger girls in our group hearing someone they respect and admire saying something like that. Yes sometimes, days are hectic, sometimes we don’t nourish ourselves as we should. But glorifying it subtly? I would personally put this on the list of causing a brother or sister to stumble because of what you eat. Saving calories? Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, I can tell you for sure that it did not work.

Or my other least favourite saying that I hear so much working in hospitality– “I’ll just be good and eat *blank*” or “I’m being so bad right now eating *blank*” First of all, no one is morally good, that’s why Jesus had to die for us. Second of all, if you want to do something ‘good’, help a friend, volunteer at a pet shelter, smile at a stranger, or talk someone through their struggles– but don’t eat a salad!!!!! (I’m putting lots of exclamation marks there)

I am not saying this to pressure you, but to challenge you. I am not saying that people will judge you for your food choices, I desperately want to convey that people do not love you for your food choices, but we can choose to consider those around us and build each other up. I would love you to know that gatherings and shared meals are first about the people and second about the food– and the way that we choose to act will reflect that. As someone who was looked up to in my group, I was not a good role model in this way, and if I hurt friends or family in any way it would also hurt my deeply because I would not want my past struggles on anyone. So I’m saying this from someone who has been there, from someone who has messed up and learned, by the grace of God, and I would love to share the learning with you so you don not have to make the same mistake.

We have looked at what the Bible says about this and you have heard some personal stories about this topic. Now let’s go back to some of the things that made me decide to give this topic a free pass to the top of my blogging ideas list. I learnt the other day about studies that have been done on children who eat meals with their families verses ones who don’t and I am honestly shocked by the difference it makes- even with everything that I have already talked about.

A 2007 survey of over 9,000 young teenagers showed that those who ate at least 5 family meals per week had 40% less chance of depression, and 35%less chance of engaging in risky taking behaviours. A 1999-2004 study followed over 4,000 teens into young adulthood and found that those who ate 5 or more meals with their families had a 22% higher chance of having a good quality diet 5 years later, and girls were 34% less likely to have disordered behaviour around food and weight control. A 1999 US study found that young teens who ate 5 or more family meals were 40% less likely to be obese, and a 2012 study on 21,400 children found that family meals were linked to better academic results and less behavioural problems.

Before kids and teens can ever learn habits from their friends, they learn them from family – parents and older siblings. This includes habits like work life balance, eating in front of screens, screen use in general, time management, priorities in life, they way that parents talk to each other, food choices, exercise habits, and attitude. It is so so important for anyone in a place of authority to be showing children good behaviours and attitudes about everything, but also about food and exercise while they are young and they are finding out about the world- because if you don’t teach them, who will?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say food and exercise habits are especially important for mothers to their daughters. The world teaches us to be dissatisfied with how we look, but if that is projected onto the next generation, it will continue and carve even deeper scars. Here’s another study- in 2016 in international study was conducted on 1,000 mother daughter pairs, and it found that if a mother engaged in dieting behaviours, a daughter of just 7 years old would be more likely to diet herself by age 11. This just breaks my heart because, will first of all, I was climbing trees and playing with Sylvanians and Lego and bows and arrows at age 11, and the thought of 11 year olds loosing their childhood to this brings tears to my eyes. And secondly I have seen it and heard about at so I know it is real- it is not just numbers on a computer screen, it is my friends and my family.

That was long and had a million different micro subjects, but for the sake of all our brains, let’s summarize and hit the highlights:

• Food is really important in the Bible, and shared meals are a central part of both Jesus’ ministry and the gatherings of the early church.

• The Bible gives instructions on how to honour God and each other when we join to share food.

• Health is not just food and exercise, but connections, prayers and laughter.

• Sharing food with people builds a special kind of connection.

• We can be good role models for those around us, or not.

• Our moral worth or any kind of worth is not connected to how we eat.

• There are many studies done on children and teenagers about how sharing meals as a family impacts physical and mental health for the better.

• Mothers have a huge impact on their daughters in every way, including their habits around food and exercise.

• And in case I didn’t make it clear the first time, having friends and family to share time and laughter and memories and food with is such a blessing, never to be taken for granted or avoided because of stress around eating healthily. Memories made are priceless.

I hope you aren’t too confused and you enjoyed reading or got something out of this!

~Hannah xoxo