Okay girls, it’s time for an honest chat. We really need to talk about this, because it is such a trend right now on basically every social media platform, or every media platform in general. It’s the articles, Tiktoks, Instagram posts, Tweets, YouTube videos all about becoming ‘that girl.’ And who is that girl? She is your most beautiful, aesthetic and in control, confident, fit and yes, hot, version of yourself. The one who has it all together, goes to the gym, wears cute outfits, eats protein, speaks her mind, eats clean, never breaks down, is envied by all, has perfect hair.
And none of these things are bad necessarily. It’s great to be confident and it’s great to be healthy. But the problem is that this whole trend comes down to one thing. Becoming hot. Some people imply it and some people say it outright, with titles like ‘5 Steps to Your Hottest Self’ or ‘What all the hot girls are doing’. And why is this a problem you may ask? And why is it such a problem, especially for Christian women and girls?
Well.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself, but hotness? That’s another matter. Hotness is usually defined as beauty, the way your face looks, your hair and skin, and especially the way your body looks, usually in the form of having an hourglass, toned figure with just the right proportions to fit the current trend. Usually this is to become desirable to the opposite gender, and to be the envy of everyone in your own. And this is the first problem, the motivation to please people instead of God. The Bible calls us to ‘not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds’ (Romans 12:2) and this means that we should not follow the same patterns and desires as the people of this world, but instead focus on God, and who He is, rather than who we are and how we can get validation that stems from lust and envy. As women, we are not objects, but people, and we are all created uniquely. But the thing is, online we see celebrities and influences all with exactly the same perfect body. And unconsciously, we look at our own and don’t see the same thing. And we think, am I good enough? Do I need to change? But here’s what the Bible says: “For You created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You, for I am wonderfully and fearfully made, Your works are wonderful and I know that full well. (Psalm 139) Fearfully and wonderfully made, and also created differently. Our muscle and bone structures are different, and so are our proportions and sizes. But when we see carbon copy bodies, and we don’t look like this ourselves, especially for young teens, we start thinking we’ve failed as a person- that we will never be beautiful. And this can be so incredibly dangerous, for young women especially, and has caused a rise in eating disorders, depression, anxiety, infertility, and over exercising. But the truth is, *newsflash* scientifically, women are made to have more body fat than men because that’s how our bodies are designed, and it’s healthy. Our bodies can do amazing feats, running, climbing, walking, lifting, dancing, and coping under stress-the most amazing of all being growing a human being, but only when we treat them right. And trying to change them because of what an influencer online looks like is not treating our bodies right. A friend once said to me, “never try to be a flower you are not. There is rose beautiful, and sunflower beautiful, and tulip beautiful and gardenia beautiful- and a rose trying to look like a sunflower just wouldn’t work.” And that’s so true for humans too. We’re all beautiful and a different way and no beauty can be measured up against another because they’re all different.
But what if I’m not trying to change my body, I’m just trying to glow up my wardrobe and wear a cute outfit every day? Well again, there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to wear nice clothes. It is lovely to dress up for occasions, and fun to get ready with your friends, and clothes can absolutely boost your confidence and mood when you wear things you love. But the problem is when we base our worth off our clothes, when wearing cute clothes is the only thing that boosts our confidence, and when we obsess over having certain clothes and look down on others who don’t, or don’t have time to dress the way we do, or put so much thought into what we wear that it takes away from other areas in our life. Going back to the flowers, Jesus said “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!’ (Luke 12:27-28) There are so many more important things to focus on than our clothes, and this all goes back to appearance and getting validation from how we look, whether it is our body, our clothes, or skin, hair and makeup. yes, these things are fun to work on or spend time on, but they are not the most important thing. “And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” (1 John 2:17). I need you to know something- people actually don’t care how you look. Sadly, pretty privilege is real, but the real important people who actually matter don’t care. No one ever, ever said “I love my best friend because she has abs all the time”. No! they say “I love my best friend because we laugh together and she really listens and gets me.” No one ever said “I love my mum because her mascara is always perfect.” No! they say “I love my mum because she taught me how to be a good person and about Jesus”. No one ever said “I love my sister because she has toned arms and always wears a cute outfit.” No! they say “I love my sister because we yap for hours and we can be crazy together”. If people really care about you, they care about you, not your body, or your clothes or your makeup. And I would rather be around a kind, interesting girl who loves Jesus but doesn’t have the perfect clothes or the perfect face shape than one who is pretty and put together but shallow and mean. The joy that comes from within, and the Holy Spirit shining through you is the thing that really makes you beautiful. And having the ability to be practical in what you wear, have fun no matter the circumstance, and be joyful no matter if you are having a good hair day and enjoy spending time with others is something that attracts others to you as a person, and points to Jesus rather than yourself.
What about training? Gym culture and exercise culture is a huge part of the whole ‘glow up’ thing. But it’s good for us, right? There can’t be any harm in that. Well let’s have a look at the Bible- that will tell us what we need to know. 1 Timothy 4:8 says “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” So yes, physical training does have value! It strengthens us, keeps our muscles and hearts healthy and even strengthens our bones. It helps prevent diseases, and often helps clear your head and de stress. And it’s fun! I personally love a good gym session, conditioning, walking, running, sports (although I have no skill whatsoever) dancing and swimming. But the key word is some. I hear people online say “make the hot choice- go to the gym!” And yes, our choices do affect our lives, and making good, healthy choices like exercising affect the quality and longevity of our life. But the ‘hot’ choice? Like exercise is all about changing our body rather than strengthening it? When we focus on changing our body through exercise, in my experience, all the joy and the blessing of being about to move and the joy that comes from that gets taken away. It’s not a hot choice, it’s a healthy choice- and again, all our bodies are built differently and they will look different, no matter the exercise we do. Exercise is of some value, but the most important thing is Godliness, growing continually to become like Christ. So if exercise is making an idol of yourself, it’s time to re think how you can make Jesus the centre of your life, and use exercise as a tool rather than the thing that will make you happy because you will be envied and desired by others for your looks. Because at the end of the day, trends pass away- and what was ‘hot’ today will no longer be, and you will have to change your body again. But you know what won’t pass away? Jesus! He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, the Way, the Truth and the Life, and through Him all things were created and have their being. (Revelation 22:13, John 14:6, Colossians 1:15-21), and pursuing Him is something that will last forever.
Next up, what about confidence, that ‘feminine energy’, your ‘main character era’? These are phrases thrown around by TikTokers and YouTubers as things that will make you glow from within and make you completely in control and incredibly attractive to those around you. And at first glance these things may seem fine. Confidence is great, it helps us to do the things we need to do each day. It can become a problem though, when it turns into arrogance and pride. We need to remember that we are weak as humans- and our strength and confidence comes from God. Jeremiah 17:7 “The man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence indeed is the LORD, is blessed.” We don’t need to be confident for God to work through us, in fact God often uses those who are humble and even the lowest of people with no confidence, such as Moses, Gideon and David, to do great things. And from here it just gets worse. ‘Feminine energy’? Yes it is good to be feminine as girls and women, but we don’t need feminine energy, we need the Holy spirit shining through us! We don’t need our main character era, the Bible says ‘Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others.’ (Philippians 2:3-4) We aren’t called to be the main character, but to look out for others, uplift them, help them, and love them. And all this goes back to hotness, and how with our personality and ‘radiance,’ we can be attractive. I give it to influencers, they are right that some women are absolutely radiant. But that radiance is not coming from a certain ‘energy’ that a woman chooses to emulate, but from the Holy Spirit in her, and the joy of the Lord pouring from her, which is the most attractive thing in the world. And no one is perfect. only God is perfect, and when we try, terrible things happen. We may not be trying to be like God by building the tower of babel, but we are bleaching and botoxing our way to perfection, and that is just as harmful.
So, we have established that becoming ‘that girl’, your ‘hottest self’ or ‘glowing up’ can be harmful and is rooted in pleasing this world, but what can we do as christian women to be beautiful, in the way that God created us to be? Great question!
• Prioritise God in your life. Matthew 6:33 ‘But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.” Prioritise reading scripture, praying and worshiping every day. I find it helpful to do this first thing in the morning, because it puts God first in my day and focuses my mind on Him, especially when it is quiet early in the morning and there is no distractions.
• Ask God for wisdom. Proverbs 8:11 says ‘For wisdom is far more valuable than rubies. Nothing you desire can compare with it.’ Wisdom is precious, and God gives it generously to all who ask without finding fault. (James 1:5) It will help you with decisions in your life from family, finances and jobs and bless those around you. Now that’s a glow up!
• Instead of focusing only on clothes, focus on your spirit. 1 Peter 3:3-4 ‘Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.’ Beauty is not all about what we wear, how we do our hair or makeup, or the jewellery we wear. All these things are fun and can accentuate your natural beauty, but the most important thing is your heart.
• Exercise you body, but also exercise Godliness. 1 Timothy 4:8 “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” Exercise is healthy, and it is a tool for a better life, but it’s important we don’t obsess over it, and instead focus on becoming more like Jesus through reading His word, prayer, scripture and living our your faith every day.
• Eat in a way that glorifies God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 ‘So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God’. The Bible doesn’t say specifically what to eat, but it does call for gratitude, self control, joy and peace (Galatians 5:22-23) in all areas of our lives, including food. This is something I and many others have struggled with, and it deserves a whole blog on its own, but we can glorify God in our body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) through nourishing it well with the foods that God created for us, and giving it enough nourishment.
• Focus on good works rather than appearance. 1 Timothy 2:9-10 ‘Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self control, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess Godliness- with good works’. Modesty is not about hiding, but about having the courage to say that your kind heart and your good deeds are more important than your body. In a world that puts so much emphasis on being hot and impressing men, this is so rare and incredibly beautiful. This verse is also a great reminder that we don’t need the latest expensive clothes to be beautiful!
• Have the right kind of radiance. Matthew 5:14 ‘You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. instead they put it on a stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” We don’t need ‘feminine energy’ to be radiant, instead we need the true radiance of the Holy Spirit shining through us, because that won’t point to us, but point to God- and that’s what it is all about, showing people God so that they too may be saved.
• Be a good role model for those younger than you. Matthew 18:6 ‘but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.’ This sounds harsh, I know, but it’s true. Hot girl culture is so damaging for young people because it impacts their self worth and how they see themselves and women, and as people. And this affects them al throughout their life. So instead of being ‘that girl’ to the kids around you, model Biblical, Godly womanhood to them, so that they can see that they don’t have to be hot to be beautiful.
• Do it for God, not to impress people. Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” In so much of this ‘that girl’ culture, we see people doing life for validation from men, or other girls around them. But as Christians that is not our aim, our aim is to do everything for God, and not for people. I find this so freeing, that my life is not to impress anyone except my creator. It’s so easy to slip into the pattern of trying to impress others- but remember that God is so much more important than anyone in your life!
I hope you found this interesting- it’s something that I’m so passionate about. I pray that all women can know and believe in their hearts that they do not have to look a certain way to be beautiful, that they are made in the image of God, uniquely and perfectly. And also that they do not have to get validation from men at every turn to be a worthwhile person- remember that flower analogy? Everyone has a flower that they love and find so beautiful, and in the same way the perfect person will find you incredibly beautiful.
Keep shining God’s love into the world <3
~Hannah xoxo
